{"product_id":"coal-christmas-card","title":"Coal Christmas Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet’s skip the wholesome holiday lies, shall we? If you’ve spent the year being just a\u003cem\u003e little\u003c\/em\u003e chaotic, mildly feral, or aggressively petty (no judgment, same), this “I Deserve the Coal\" card is the brutally honest seasonal confession you’ve been waiting for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for sending to friends, family, coworkers, exes, or anyone who witnessed your questionable life choices in 2025. It’s festive, it’s funny, and it proudly announces, “Listen, Santa… I know what I did.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you actually deserve coal or you’re just leaning into your gremlin era, this card delivers the perfect blend of cheer and self-snark.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMessage inside: Burn bright this holiday season. 5.5 x 4.25 inches.  includes an envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mincing Mockingbird","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43342609678497,"sku":"210000098398","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/files\/mincing-mockingbird-greeting-cards-coal-christmas-card-funny-gag-gifts-37832671133857.png?v=1698337886","url":"https:\/\/www.offthewagonshop.pro\/products\/coal-christmas-card","provider":"Off the Wagon Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}