{"product_id":"i-didn-t-stab-anyone-today-ribbon","title":"I Didn’t Stab Anyone Today Ribbon","description":"\u003cp\u003eLook at you go, keeping it together like a real functional adult! Celebrate your totally heroic act of not stabbing a single soul today with this adorably unhinged ribbon, complete with a chipper little smiley flower who definitely has seen some things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s the perfect daily award for surviving rude emails, loud chewers, group texts, and Karen-level nonsense without going full rage goblin. Whether you’re in retail, customer service, or just have to interact with humans regularly, this ribbon says, “I could’ve lost it—but didn’t. You’re welcome.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePin it on. Strut proudly. Passive-aggressively make eye contact with your coworker. Great for gift-giving, desk flair, or collecting little emotional victories one ribbon at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause emotional restraint deserves recognition—with glitter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSatin ribbon, gold foil. Ribbon measures 1.5” x 6”. Includes “Award To: \/ From:” printed card stock \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bad Betty Greeting Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44917823340705,"sku":"210000108882","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/files\/bad-betty-greeting-co-funny-novelties-i-didn-t-stab-anyone-today-ribbon-funny-gag-gifts-1161660905.jpg?v=1746815446","url":"https:\/\/www.offthewagonshop.pro\/products\/i-didn-t-stab-anyone-today-ribbon","provider":"Off the Wagon Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}